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I will help you find a unique purpose in this world of change.
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As soon as we’re born, we’re placed in a world of rules. Of course, rules aren’t a bad thing. They keep us safe. They provide order.
But to keep pace with this ever-growing pile of rules, many of the rituals have to become ingrained. Second nature. Inherited, basically.
There are customs at home, particular to our family. There are hierarchies at school and at work. Even our leisure activities, like sports, have their own codes of conduct.
After awhile, you become a walking avatar, a collection of all the behaviors you’ve successfully and correctly modeled. You’re a “star consultant with McKinsey & Company” or a “genuine Stanford Man.” A real “New England striver” or a “West Point straight shooter.”
Where, in all of this, is personal want and desire?
Typically, we downplay this aspect of human existence in the modern age.
We think to ourselves: “Isn’t it funny how the busiest salesman or competitive athlete enjoys Mint Chocolate ice cream or watches old episodes of The Big Bang Theory?”
How much of our current order makes room for connecting with ourselves versus an external standard?
Burdened by high standards and expectations of pitch perfect success, it’s like the vital emotional parts of ourselves are being skimmed over—as if these, too, could just be shipped down the assembly line, to become “more productive.”
It’s time to shed certain rules we’ve inherited, because they prohibit private growth in favor of an increasingly insane public performance.
In shedding these, we will undoubtedly be leaving behind a big chunk of our past, and inevitably ourselves, since we have become part machine through this inheritance process.
We may feel broken and naked for a moment as this husk slips away. But we will quickly begin elaborating on our own goals. We will be more outspoken about what’s good for us, and these things will be smaller, more localized, less standardized.
And yes, that will largely be disruptive to an older process of churning out identities.
Let’s dive in.
Dancing in the Dark
When you do muster up the resolve to break free of standards no longer serving you, it is possible to go off the deep end.
But, as with all available energy, it’s not about ignoring a trend completely but understanding how it can be used.
In this case, imagination and daydreaming can be a powerful tool for immersing in the moment.
Details within details unfold. An intoxicating dance of spirit.
Down the rabbit holes of Self you go, until you surrender to the process of becoming.
Instead of measuring up/down, success/failure, your world is focused on simply being.
This spiritual massage, luxuriating in the spa of Do-Nothing, is great for shedding old definitions of success.
It’s time to validate ourselves in new ways.
A little looseness in our logic actually helps us scrutinize current dealbreakers and payoffs with fresh eyes.
We’re not looking at them with ultra-rationality, which is really a form of cope. What we call rationality today can be a form of Stockholm Syndrome, a condition in which the captive falls in love with their kidnapper.
This looseness—this free-flowing attitude towards cold hard standards we’ve inherited—can help us understand that today’s rationality is a shadow condition.
Think of the ways people justify overreach. "I have less privacy/freedom but I'm safe!" Think of the toxic jobs or romances people stay in.
Modern “rationality” loves to bargain. Its aim is to submit to control in order to access a crumb of control for itself.
"If I sacrifice my true needs for love, at least I get structure."
These are deals with the Devil. This is the dark side of our world.
If you’re going to be dancing in the dark, you want to be doing shadow work, not selling your soul for false security.
You can use these flights of imagination to your advantage. “What would it be like if I stayed in this relationship, this job, this place?”
Through this process of shedding, you can sacrifice things you didn’t need anyways.
Which is absolutely great. You’re renovating. Controlled demolition.
Is that too big of an ask these days? Let’s dig a bit more.
The Plunge
I made a tweet earlier this week about a guy who publicly celebrated getting catfished. Some kind of sales trick, by a woman on Bumble, a dating app.
“People like to spank and be spanked,” I wrote in response.
When we pedestalize debt front and center in our culture, we design almost everything to sit inside a reward/punishment paradigm.
Public humiliation is just seen as “the way things are.” The only real buyer’s remorse is feeling like it didn’t sting enough.
It’s a bit frustrating to realize.
But again, the individual’s private needs for security and safety have taken a backseat, while “the game and the hustle” becomes a god we whip ourselves for, in an attempt to curry favor.
We as a collective simply cannot think beyond transactional relationships, most times.
But there is another way to channel our burden, and it’s the pain of building now for an uncertain future, and of patiently waiting to see fruits of our labor.
I get it. We like certainty, even if that certainty is a prison. But even the current supply chains of meaning are slowing to a drip. They won’t be around forever.
So you can wait until it all runs dry while sitting in decay and ruins—or you can sacrifice external definitions of success and start working for what truly feeds you.
You may feel like a pariah, an outcast, a person who is “too different” as you do this. You may feel guilty, like you’ve broken an old promise or failed at an old goal. But you’re playing a better and newer type of long game.
You’re going back home to your true desire, and thus setting up a better future. You’re rehabilitating the ruins around you, by returning home to your neglected self. That’s how you make the most out of this crazy time, rather than cheer the world as it burns or hide in denial.
Your destination is focused on self-validation rather than undercutting yourself by submitting to standards that you had no hand in designing.
Standards which you don’t even technically have any connection to, since so much of what is “traditional” struggles to even take real form in this landscape of transactional relationships.
If you want to apply these old values—embody and embrace them—then you simply can’t model the behaviors and signal affiliation.
You have to be like one of the original progenitors you idolize so much. You must disseminate your message and erect a new city on the renovated ruins of the past.
So many people shout that they have The Answer, but current solutions are about dropping models rather than trying to conform.
The pain of standing up for your personal needs—right here, right now—will pay dividends for a future that may seem distant but is greater than your wildest dreams.
You just have to flow back home, to the voice that speaks for you and you alone.
Would you like access to this level of guidance, backed up by the time-honored system of astrology?
I will help you find a unique purpose in this world of change.
Apply for a birth chart reading HERE
Beautiful. This is exactly the process I've been going through for the past (almost) three years. It has been a complicated time, but certainly it has been the BEST time of my life. So freeing. So confusing lol. But the dark isn't too scary. The unknown is so inviting! Like you said, my "wildest dreams" have been surpassed :)
Thanks for sharing!